


He just doesn´t see me...

by Mifrifi



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Sad, Song Lyrics, Thilbo, bagginshield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 23:10:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mifrifi/pseuds/Mifrifi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Thorin thinking about their love for each other... but they also thinking that the other one doesn´t see them...</p>
            </blockquote>





	He just doesn´t see me...

**_[When he passes it seems like fireworks.]_ **

He was so beautiful. As he stood in front of my door and his head turned slowly in my direction.  
His black, long hair hung over his shoulder. It looked so beautiful. The white strands of his hair made it even more beautiful.  
He made me forget everything. Everything. I looked at him. I brought no word on my lips. His deep voice. It sounded so familiar.   
Although I had never seen him before, the idea does not go out of my head, that I had known him all my life. I wished so much that I had never separate from him.

 _ **[In front of a sky it’s him I recognize.]**_    
  
But I knew better. I knew that this was just a pipe dream. I would never be able to have him.  
  
 ** _[Only a king can be worth his attention.]_**  
  
He was far away. Far, far away. Beyond my reach. I was not worth it. I was not worthy to stand by his side...  
My dearest Thorin. Could you have imagine a life with me? With me? A thief, taken from you under a stupid contract?  
I do not think so.  
  
 _ **[And I am not at all like a king.]**_  
  
Unworthy. That was me. A thief and a king. How foolish it was of me to think that this might work.  
  
 ** _[He just doesn’t see me.]_**  
  
Do you see me? Do you hear me? Do not you see how I break inside? I need you. But this is based on one-sidedness.  
You do not need me. Not like I want it.... I am in your company... Just to get your kingdom back. In your eyes, I am not more than a thief.  
But that's okay. You must not want me. You do not have to love me. Abuse me. Yell at me. Treat me...  
Do what you think, what is right. It's okay ... because at least... for a moment you notice me.  
  
 _ **[When he dances, then everything dances. His hips and arms.]**_  
  
If you sing, then silenced everyone. If you move, then hold each breath. And what do I do then?  
I stand there ... amazed by your beauty, your grace. Your courage. My handsome dwarf king. I would give anything to stand once in your splendor.  
  
 ** _[Everything is illuminated in the light, of this dwarf. He has the grace and the purity which other lack.]_**  
  
So beautiful, so courageous like you, I'll never be.... After all, you are a king... I am just a thief.  
All you master perfectly. [He has everything that I don’t.] No matter what I do ... you do not see it.  
And no matter what I say, you do not hear it. It is terrible what are you doing with me. I can not concentrate in your area.  
  
 ** _[The closer I get to him... The more clumsy I’ll be. My body, my voice, my face.]_**  
  
No wonder that you think of me, that I should not have come. You hate that I'm with you. Do not you? You insult me.  
You wish again and again that I will go back again. Back to Bag End. Out off your life. You never said it, but your eyes say it.  
I've always wanted to have such a partner like you by my side ... I have read so many books. About people who have met and stayed together forever.  
I wanted that, too. In the books they have overcome all boundaries. No matter what happened, they stayed together. They stayed together...  
  
 ** _[There are borders that you’ll be able to move despite millions of soldier...]_**  
  
But with us ... it's different.  
  
 _ **[Our border will not be crossed]**_  
  
... we are too different...

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I try everything to make you perceive me. I'm doing everything to impress you. Bring it to me further? No. I have a feeling that no matter what I try, it's just in vain.  
My dearest thief. If only you knew ... if only you knew. As I stood at your doorstep.  
When you opened me the door, you've already stolen something.  
My Heart. Please do not give it back. Keep it. Keeping it well in your hands.  
  
You're so small. So pretty. I've never heard of a hobbit, but when I saw you ... I was sure that you're the one.  
  
 ** _[He has style, is delicate, makes use of gestures so tender.]_**  
  
You Are the One, I can love. Dwarves only fall in love once in their lifes, and I'm proud that you're my choice.  
It could have nothing better happen! Such a pretty hobbit. Such a very handsome thief. Your life was so perfect.  
I could not believe that there was such a thing. You had everything. A home. A warm fire. Food.  
  
I was so jealous. I would have preferred to stay with you. Erebor had become irrelevant.  
  
 ** _[The easy life of this world is his style.]_**  
  
I wish I could stay with you. For the rest of my lonely life. But I could not.  
I had to make this journey. Everyone looked at me. At my actions and so I had to leave your warm home and I took you with me.  
Tell me have I forced you? Have I being forced you to follow me? Please say that's not true. Say that you come along with me voluntarily.  
  
You said once that you were nothing of what the others say. But let me tell you one thing.  
  
 ** _[He’s very much as well what he tries not to be.]_**  
  
You are brave. You saved me from a swamp. Alone when you smile brightens everything.  
You're saving me. So often that it is unpossible to count. Your pretty curls. Your deep blue eyes. Your small slender hands. Your pointed, large ears.  
I've never seen such pretty ears. It may sound weird, but I love them. And your feet. Just everything about you is adorable.  
I have to hold myself back again and again. I would like to buy everything you touch.  
To buy you shoes, because I do not want you to get hurt at your lovely feet.  
I am crazy... I know... Crazy in love with you.. I have to hold myself back again and again.  
I would like to buy you everything you touch. Hold myself back to buy you shoes, because I do not want you to get hurt.  
  
If you talk to me, my heart beats much faster. When you talk, I would like to press you to me. Never let you go. Protect you. Stroking through your hair.  
  
 ** _[But the others don’t know about it when he speaks.]_**  
  
My lovely hobbit. Say, do you see me? Do you see how much I love you. How loud my heart screams for you?  
I do not think so... You do not see me. You ignore me. You just do not see me. Tell me what I'm doing wrong... Do you hate me?  
Please, do not hate me! I know I'm mean to you, but I do that only to protect you. To protect you from myself.  
  
Do you understand that? I hope you will understand it one day... And I hope it will not be too late at that day...  
  
 ** _[One can change so much when he’s ready to fight. But not this ... injustice...]_**


End file.
